Archive for the ‘Sprayonmud’ Category
Sales soar in Germany…
Got this magazine from the publishers today – Mitsubishi Sprint Magazine - I would like a translation. I get the bits about Sprayonmud, fourwheeler and Offroad-Optik but my German is not good enough to appreciate the finer points!
Irishmen hit paydirt selling soil to the New World
DUBLIN (Reuters) – Two down-to-earth Irishmen have set up a business selling soil to nostalgic Irish Americans who want a handful of "the mother country" on their graves.
Pat Burke, 27, and Alan Jenkins, 65, have just shipped their first $1 million (about 528,000 pounds) load of "official" Irish soil to New York — at $15 per 0.75 lb bag — and confidently expect it will be followed by many more.
"The demand has been absolutely phenomenal," Burke, an agricultural scientist from County Tipperary, said on Friday.
"We knew it would take off but not in our wildest dreams did we expect the reaction we’ve had so far."
Burke, who has patented a way of processing the soil so it passes strict U.S. import regulations, said the pair were in talks with "one of the world’s largest retailers" and with a U.S. shopping channel.
"We’re looking at going worldwide," he added.
For more than a century Irish people were forced by famine, poverty and unemployment to abandon their home country, the majority of them settling in North America with the result that today some 40 million Americans claim Irish ancestry.
Globally, the Irish diaspora is estimated at more than 70 million people.
Burke said the idea for the business — whose website www.officialirishdirt.com will go live shortly — came about after Jenkins attended an Irish association meeting in Florida.
"He found that all that these second, third and fourth generation Irish wanted was a drop of the old sod — a true piece of old Ireland — to place on their caskets," he said.
Burke and Jenkins, who is from County Antrim in British-ruled Northern Ireland, formed their partnership after a chance conversation at a dinner party earlier this year and set up a processing plant last month in southern Ireland.
To enter the United States the soil must be free both of diseases such as foot-and-mouth and non-indigenous insects.
The firm has already received an order from an elderly New York businessman, originally from the west of Ireland, for $100,000 worth of dirt.
"He was in two minds about his final resting place, but now he’s decided to be totally immersed in a full grave of Irish soil — in Manhattan," Burke said.
Official Irish Dirt has pledged to donate 80 percent of its profits to charities in Ireland and the United States.
Mountain bike world championships
From: nigel harrison [mailto:nigelh41@hotmail.com]
Sent: 30 October 2005 10:36
To: info@sprayonmud.com
Subject: Enquiry
Dear sir/ madam,
I have a mountain bike and have told all my friends that I am competeing in the world championships. The truth is that I am hiding in Devon for the week and going to the tanning salon with my sunglasses on, and have bought a silver medal(The gold seemed a bit pretentious).
I need to make the bike look like it has been through a world cup downhill course. Do you think your product would help? I have banged the bike off a few rocks and so on to scratch it up a bit. The world championship are being held in Utah, and I notice your mud is based on Shropshire mud. Will I be able to pass it off as Utah mud or do you do a Utah based product?
I would be very grateful for any advice you could give me. I am spotty and skinny and as soon as I am old enough I will buy a 4×4 and will certainly then buy a lot of your marvellous product, as I am sure I will be able to get a girlfriend then, but in the meantime you can be my girlfriend if you want.
Yours sincerely
Nigel Harrison
Dear Nigel
I read your email with great interest and I and my management team are determined to assist you in your goal to fool the rest of the world into thinking that you took part in the World Mountain bike championships in Utah.
I have commissioned our US distributor, who happens to have an office in Utah, to fly in Utah mud so we can manufacture some Sprayonutahmud especially for you. Could you let me know the dates of the championships.
Also could you forward some recently taken pics so that we can decide which of the management team wishes to become your girlfriend.
Regards
Colin Dowse
Authentikrud
A stained ‘stich is a badge of honor. Your personal 3-D signpost of rides, experiences, and events past. A piece of gear that says seasoned, serious rider. Like stonewashed jeans. Each Aero Authentikrud stain kit is scientifically formulated to put legitimate looking stains, dirt and assorted other ‘road wear’ on your suit. Say goodbye to the embarassing newby look. Specify your suit color and ‘Plains Dust’, ‘Northern Slimy Bugs’, ‘IronButt Finisher’, or ‘Urban-Metro Grit’ filth palette. Authentikrud
I have wished them luck with their fantastic product – although they have pinched our idea methinks!
Freedom of Information Act
Recent Government legislation changing the Freedom of Information Act gives you
access to speed camera offences registered within the last twelve months and is placed on a freely accessible website.
Apparently, every time you go even a mile per hour over the speed limit and are picked up on a speed camera it is registered and placed on a central database.
They only send a ticket if you are more than 10% plus 3 mph over,
OR (and here is an interesting but little known fact.]
If you receive over 20 near misses"
You can now check how many you have against your car’s registered number.