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Plane Speaking: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael O’Leary

image On airline security: We are not going to die at the hands of toiletries.’ On popularity: I don’t give a sh*te if nobody likes me.’ On customer service: Are we going to apologise if something goes wrong? No, we’re f***ing not.’ Refunds? You can’t have one, so f*** off’. Airport operators? Overcharging rapists’. The European Commission? Communists’. Travel agents? F*ckers’. Some might call it radical, ruthless business logic; others, the foulmouthed abuse of a shameless gobshite. Whatever: Michael O’Leary, the shrinking violet who is Chief Executive of the awesomely successful low-cost airline Ryanair, has made it his business to offer you his opinion on everything, even if it often makes you wish you hadn’t asked. Now, here is the very baddest of his collected wit and wisdom, on everything from the possibility of charging passengers for going to the loo on his planes to his Aunty-f***ing-Mavis. We may hate him when we end up being charged forty quid for a flight we thought we were getting for a penny, but who can fail to be mesmerised, enlightened or just laugh out loud at some of the stuff that issues relentlessly from the man’s lips? Paul Kilduff is the author of the bestselling Ruinair (2008) and four novels. He lives in Ireland.

Ryanair – don’t you just love them

Ryanair is set to further squeeze passengers through increased charges for checked in luggage. The fee to check in a bag will rise by a third, from £15 to £20 per bag (£40 for a return flight), from July – in time to catch the majority of summer holidaymakers.

Ryanair has recently launched a luggage line that will comply with the airline’s carry-on luggage restrictions. The airline levels a £35 charge if bags do not comply with size rules and need to be checked in at the airport.

Ryanair said that it used its charges to change customer behaviour and insisted that the numbers checking in baggage had fallen dramatically as fees had been increased.

Clever airline KLM ad Manchester airport & they will not tell how it was done!

Bought this badge today

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…and Jean claimed it.

Routemaster

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Having travelled a lot on very good Edinburgh busses in the last few days I was interested to see the new design for Routemaster for London – it does look very good even if it has been branded a Boris vanity project.  I do like the incorporation of the hop on hop off platform at the back which i would have loved this last weekend.

FFB website updated January 2010

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Moscow-Vladivostok: virtual journey

Google Maps

This is truly brilliant – I have not been on the transibe and not wanting to go by myself I have tried all mates who I think would be good company and for one reason or another they are not available – so sod you – I will have to do the virtual journey.

You can skip the boring parts and you can change the music.

The great Trans Siberian Railway, the pride of Russia, goes across two continents, 12 regions and 87 cities. The joint project of Google and the Russian Railways lets you take a trip along the famous route and see Baikal, Khekhtsirsky range, Barguzin mountains, Yenisei river and many other picturesque places of Russia without leaving your house. During the trip, you can enjoy Russian classic literature, brilliant images and fascinating stories about the most attractive sites on the route. Let’s go!

Guardian article

BA – Unite – Tossers

BA cabin staff are the highest paid in the industry.

BA planes carry more cabin staff per passenger than other airlines.

Unite have accepted these changes at Gatwick but not at Heathrow.

The killer is that 1m people face their holiday plans being cancelled over this strike – calling a strike now is just plain spiteful.

I think this crisis is now insoluble – BA will go down the plughole and I for one will not be sorry.

I am just glad I am flying Virgin this Christmas.

Beeching reversed

railway-track

Trains could be running through Oswestry within the next five years, bringing a huge economic boost to the town.

It follows a decision by railway enthusiasts to join forces in a landmark agreement.

The Cambrian Railways Society and Cambrian Railways Trust members have unanimously voted to unify in a bid to restore services after more than 40 years.

This development has been co-ordinated by the Cross Border Tourism Development Group on behalf of Shropshire Council, with the intention of seeing a fully operational heritage railway operating out of Oswestry by 2014.

Bus tickets go to mobile phones

Would be handy if I did not have a bus pass

SD3340235@LA19PHONE 3 topBus passengers across Shropshire are having their tickets sent to their mobile phones in a scheme said to be the biggest of its kind in the world.

About 1,000 routes operated by Arriva’s 4,500 buses in the region will enable passengers to use their mobile phones to buy tickets and then display them to the driver.

Arriva is the first UK bus operator to introduce the form of ticketing for all regional services.